Once upon a time..

Once upon a time I was sincerely attracted to a man. He was as close to perfect of a man that I could imagine. He was funny, sarcastic, confident, hard-working, intelligent, physically attractive..just amazing. I met him as a customer at the shoe store he manages and he gave me his number. We flirted shamelessly and with an innocence of a kindergarten crush, because to me, that’s all it was. Over the next year we spoke infrequently but when we did talk it was like sex after a long dry spell.. We matched each others sexual innuendo banter as well as  . He had a girlfriend, an “on-again, off-again type of thing” , his words, not mine, and for one of the few times of my life I didn’t care. In fact, I told myself that if I could have him all the time I wouldn’t want him. But looking back, I did want him all the time. I woke up to good morning text messages and fell asleep to watch tv with me phone calls that often turned to long late night conversations surrounding politics and our views of the world. The following year, I fell into a relationship with a woman, we’ll call her KG, and while my relationship with her was important to me I still managed to maintain a somewhat friendship with him, and when KG and I broke up, he was the one I ran to. We went to lunch and as he dropped me off and I leaned over to give him a kiss on the cheek, he suddenly turned his face and my lips rested on his. Up to this point we had never did anything physical other than the occasional hello and goodbye hug…I cant really describe the feeling that flowed through my body that day, but after that our friendship had escalated to something more.. I no longer thought of him as a simple crush. I found myself really letting my emotions flow to him…